


Cherry Poppers

by rustykey



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: ALSO IM ONLY TAGGING THE IMPORTANT CHARACTERS IN THIS LMAO, ITS NOT FOCUSING ON KNIGHTS BTW, OKAY NONE OF THIS IS SERIOUS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-22 02:32:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rustykey/pseuds/rustykey
Summary: A new unit has been formed at Yumenosaki! Follow them on their adventures as the Cherry Poppers, making all the fans lose their panties!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> man i dunno what this is or why you hate yourself enough to read this  
> whatever  
> enjoy i guess
> 
> this entire idea literally blossomed when i started shipping Natsume and Tsukasa as a joke just because they had the same shade of red hair  
> what the fuck @ me  
> then natsume and tsukasa just had to be my first 5*s and mao just had to have red hair and i just so happened to have two of his 4*s so. uh. yeah. i'm so sorry you had to read this

"okay anzu sweetie what the fuck are we doing here and why is that tsukasa kid tied up"

"PLEASE IM STRAIGHT DONT MAKE ME DO THIS"

"tsuka i know how you are with knights, none of you are straight. now stop struggling."

so anzu, mao, natsume, and tsukasa were all stuck in a classroom. sounds like a bad joke wow. 

"seriously anzu why are we all here i need to do work for trickstar-"

"trickstar? don't worry about them. don't worry about switch and knights either because you're all making a new unit"

"onEE CHAN"

"MAN TSUKA I LOVE YOU MY BRO NO ROMO BUT COULD YOU SHUT UP JESUS FUCKING CHRIST"

they all gasp. especially natsume. 

"how dare you? you insulted my savior? i thought you loved me?"

"shut it, edgelord"

"rude"

"hey anzu? are you even allowed to do this? what's gonna happen to our old units?" mao's the only serious one. i'm proud. 

"knights is still gonna be gay, trickstar is still gonna be gay, and switch is just gonna be switch and yes i'm allowed to do this. ecchi let me."

"onee-chan it's eichi-"

"bitch did she say you could talk? and it's clearly fucking satan not eichi smh"

"no i'm sorry please go on"

"RIGHT so you guys make up the redhead trio-"

"but natsume has white in his hair? if we're having multi-colored red shouldn't kuro and tetora be he-"

"DKKSSKDNM TSUKA"

"meep"

"and you're all making a new unit i call "cherry poppers" and tsuka's the leader so be fucking happy. ok have fun with practice i gotta make sure knights isn't having another orgy- i mean bye"

so anzu leaves and the three just kinda look at each other. tsukasa wants death and you know what so do i. pineapple hair decides to untie him because hey that's cool and the fucking kid falls on the floor.

"mao is he ok"

"i'm doing just swell thanks guys"

"why are we doing this. why did we agree to this."

they all contemplate mao's question before natsume picks up tsukasa and physically does the òwó face. oh god. 

"natsume. natsume what are you going to do with him."

"òwó rawr" 

then natsume fucking BLASTS off into the hallway and towards the knights room. izumeme looks at natsumeme.

"bitch the fuck you want? we're trying to fuck here"

"tsukasa is mine now"

"oh thank the loRD-"

natsume gasps and slaps izumi. "how dare you"

he then runs away, leaving izumeme in confusion. izumean decides to tell the rest of knights. leo and ritsu start bawling and arashi shoves his kylie lip kit in their mouths

"let it soothe you"

"I CANT BE SOOTHED I CANT BELIEVE MAAKUN AND SUUCHAN ARE LEAVING ME THOSE WERE MY BEST BOYS-"

"MAN RITSU COULD YA SHUT UP"

ritsu walks up to izumi and squishes his face. "no. fuck off." ritsu then kisses izumi. leo cries some more. 

"EVERYONE IS FINDING LOVE WHAT ABOUT ME WHAT ABOUT POOR OL' LEO"

leo cries himself to sleep and knights fucks each other up the ass. coolio. 

meanwhile, natsume, mao, and tsukasa find themselves on the roof. natsume sets tsukasa down. 

"okay leader what do we do"

"cry"

"good plan. get on the floor mao we're gonna cry"

to be continued


	2. practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the cherry poppers do some real practice this time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy the communications by ghost references,,,  
> anyways pray for tsukasa

so i guess they stayed on the roof for the rest of the day until some teacher dude or whatever yelled at them. they stayed for like 5 more minutes tho. crying is fun. 

anyways woohoo it's the next fucking day! now what're these nerds gonna do //each other, obvs//

cool so they're all in a classroom i think. anzu is with them

"sup bitches how's practice"

"we did lots. and lots. and lots. of crying"

"tsukasa did i ask you"

"can you stop picking on me"

"no wtf ur unit has cherry in its name for a reason dumbass"

"THEN PICK ON THEM TOO. MAO EVEN LOOKS LIKE A PINEAPPLE. HE'S THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE PICKED ON."

":( tsukasa i can't believe you think of me as a pineapple" mao sniffles

"wow leader you made your own unit mate cry"

"LEAVE ME ALONE" tsukasa rolls off into a corner. 

"lil bitch. oki natsume make sure you're all doing well with practice i gotta make sure christopher isn't smashing mirrors again"

"who's christopher???"

"the guy with the rlly nice hair??? crisp boy??? distornionist?????????"

"anzu sweetie you'll need to explain better than that"

"ecchi????"

"oh. OH. yeah him. have fun."

anzu leaves and natsume picks up tsukasa again. his eyes are wet. wetter than my p....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

pythagorean theorem homework. yeah maybe i should do that instead of crying about it  
wait shit this is getting far from the story  
um  
fuck  
this isn't funny why are you still reading this  
literally all of this is stolen from the knights domestic au they are the Best and the Original

STORY TIME AGAIN all written at 1:00 am

"natsume please set me down."  
"no"  
"but? why?"  
"we must practice."  
"....nno"  
"binch";6 h  
tsukasa backflips off of natsume. this fic had taken a turn for the worse. 

"child? what are you doing"  
"i am the leader, and i say we practice. now get to work."  
"wow okay take off your pants"  
tsukasa slaps natsume with a bible. it burns. 

"NOT IN THAT WAY WHAT THE frick NATSUME"

mao rolls in again after spilling his pineapple waters everywhere. 

"let's actually practice, guys."  
"okay fine but tell leader to calm down"  
"man why wasn't i picked as the leader again? tsukasa calm down please"  
"no"  
"you're grounded"  
"you aren't my mother"  
"natsume, get the rope"  
natsume gets the rope and they tie tsukasa up so he can finally shut up. they also gag him iN THE NON-KINKY WAY writing this after reading hentai was a bad idea

so they practice. tsukasa also manages to practice, surprisingly. of course by that i mean the other two rolled him around. 

"our unit is so good wowza" natsume says, kicking tsukasa's body towards mao "we've already gotten more work done than everyone else it's so great"

"how did we even get this much done? all we've done is kick tsukasa"

tsukasa can't say anything because he's gagged, so he just screams.

"let's beat fine now"

"good idea"

he yells  
this isn't a good idea  
you idiots, what are you doing  
tsukasa falls unconscious and natsume picks him up again

2bc0nt1nu3d

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck


	3. natsume needs jesus and so do i honestly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dont even know anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its exam season and this is how i relieve stress

you fuckers thought i was dead well you thought wrong

"hmm how can i be an asshole today?" eichi asks himself as he bathes in an entire tub full of tea 

"eichi, what are you doing. you're going to get an infection in your ass" ritsu says

"good"  
"wait what"  
"let me die"  
"eichi what the FuCK-"

suddenly the door gets knocked down  
guess who it is, fuckers

"SUP HOES WE'RE HERE TO- HOLY SHIT BYE"

natsume screams. then ritsu. then the ecchi man himself. everyone is screaming. everyone is dying. 

mao also walks in! cool. he doesn't want to be here but he needs to carry tsukasa since he needs to follow natsume since natsume's doing some hardcore drugs that he found in the tea club's secret safe

"NATSUME IM TRYING TO B A T H E"  
"i will knock over this tub you lil fuck now where's the weed"  
"natsume? didn't you say we were here to challenge fi-"  
"mao you shut your pineapple head up right now or you'll end up like tsukasa there"

insert muffled screech  
insert another screech, followed by a yawn

"ok natsume so first you abuse one of my best boys, now you're threatening my boyfrined? how dare? meet me on the rooftop for an asskicking at noon"

"no thanks"

"winner gets the tea club's drugs"  
"ritsu no i need those-"  
"YOU'RE ON, MYSPACEFUCKER69"  
"see you at noon, tumblrfricker420"

with that, ritsu flies out of the window. like, actually flies. what the fuck. 

"ritsu i need my clothes" eichi cries and now the tea is salty just like me

natsumeme is anger. he takes the redheads into another room. there's too many rooms in this fucking school. 

"i cant believe he would dare to do such a thing"  
"well, you did kinda insult me and ts-"  
"shuT UP, MAO" natsumeme scre e ch e d. "anyways, i still cant believe he would say that? im obviously fucking pinterest, not tumblr, god what an imbecile. ok mao untie the kid to prepare my weapons"

so tsukasa finally gets untied!!! woohoo!!!

"natsume, as your leader, i request you to stop-"  
"try me, binch"  
"i will try you. no, you know what? i'll do you because trying is for the weak-"  
"oh god have you been hanging around ryuseitai again, those stupid student athletes, they aren't special ecks dee what normies"

anzu broke in through the window again. again? there was a first time?  
"are you two really gonna ignore how dirty that sounded???"

"anzu, natsume's trying to fight people agaaaiiinnnnn"  
"YOU SNITCH MAO I TRUSTED YOU"

"haha" tsuka laughed  
"oh and tsukasa's trying to do the do again"  
"M A O"

"again? tsukasa you're a virgin. we all know."  
"you don't know what i do out of school-"

"i don't want to hear it. natsume, tsukasa, you two are grounded. im taking away your, uh... i'll get back to you. " anzu sticks a gold star on mao's forehead "good job, only rational member of this shitty unit."

"if it's so shitty then why'd you make it?" natsume asks  
"because i fucking CAN don't disrespect me. you're grounded even more. you're not even grounded anymore, you've gone past the crust and now you're in the mantle. oh hey that gives me a good idea for your punishment!"

natsume and tsukasa are scared, mao got a gold star, anzu is anger, ritsu is anger, and eichi has tea infused into his blood. what'll happen next on this fucked up fic? i don't know. get out of here. 

590 words,,, i could get to 666 hold on a sec

we bring u the leo episode  
"hi my name is leo tsukinaga and i like screaminf :) screaming is fun because you get to let out your inner rage. we all need to do that one day. on the count of three, kids! one, two, three, FUCK ME IN THE ASS I WANNA DIE I JUST WAJT LOVE GOD FUCK IS THAT SO HARD. ok bye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tag urself im leo


End file.
